I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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