Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
