PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
