when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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