some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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