Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
