he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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