I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Actions speak louder than pants.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
