he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
