At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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