New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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