I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
