Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
