My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
