i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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