Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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