i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize