Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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