their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
