I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize