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Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Randomize
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