Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.

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  (818): he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small. http://tfl.nu/cj40
  Replies (40) Good night (807) Bad night (10382)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

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  (601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x
  Replies (33) Good night (7630) Bad night (1036)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.

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  (203): I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour. http://tfl.nu/xoad
  Replies (26) Good night (8234) Bad night (995)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?

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  (702): is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable? http://tfl.nu/ood9
  Replies (23) Good night (3828) Bad night (1502)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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  (609): And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS http://tfl.nu/9yrh
  Replies (17) Good night (1179) Bad night (4582)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...

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  (207): If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will... http://tfl.nu/8p69
  Replies (15) Good night (1100) Bad night (1956)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Bonus points are bonus points regardless

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  (973): Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you (571): Bonus points are bonus points regardless http://tfl.nu/vyof
  Replies (10) Good night (1096) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid

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  (419): i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid http://tfl.nu/fwn3
  Replies (11) Good night (1726) Bad night (657)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...

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  (509): Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night... http://tfl.nu/llkl
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...

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  (269): It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom... http://tfl.nu/xo96
  Replies (4) Good night (860) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.

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  (508): I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/zrup
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA

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  (240): HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA http://tfl.nu/oasy
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard

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  (203): Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard http://tfl.nu/pmzn
  Replies (0) Good night (752) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Do one night stands count towards my number?

  (516): View more from New York

  Yes. A penis is a penis

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Even bad ones?

  (516): View more from New York

  YES.

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  (217): Do one night stands count towards my number? (516): Yes. A penis is a penis (217): Even bad ones? (516): YES. http://tfl.nu/iyle
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol

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  (520): Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol http://tfl.nu/prhk
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (172)

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