Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.

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  (734): Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea. http://tfl.nu/2hiy
  Replies (18) Good night (899) Bad night (4961)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6848) Bad night (1362)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions

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  (778): I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions http://tfl.nu/u0tu
  Replies (27) Good night (1591) Bad night (3730)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk

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  (631): Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk http://tfl.nu/bu5o
  Replies (18) Good night (1077) Bad night (4701)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.

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  (214): I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all. http://tfl.nu/v9t7
  Replies (6) Good night (3006) Bad night (974)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability

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  (917): we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability http://tfl.nu/xeg6
  Replies (1) Good night (2269) Bad night (851)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

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  (402): There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win. http://tfl.nu/2dfk
  Replies (8) Good night (4872) Bad night (943)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video

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  (573): It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video http://tfl.nu/x1wo
  Replies (9) Good night (1438) Bad night (773)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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  (517): This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/9rmg
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (660)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.

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  (647): It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud. http://tfl.nu/qzq0
  Replies (7) Good night (1602) Bad night (1179)
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  (315): View more from New York

  WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.

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  (315): WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF. http://tfl.nu/3w9f
  Replies (12) Good night (1544) Bad night (409)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.

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  (917): The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad. http://tfl.nu/oau9
  Replies (8) Good night (433) Bad night (662)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?

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  (303): A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car. (775): You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car? http://tfl.nu/g6l0
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (302)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.

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  (512): The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount. http://tfl.nu/1v2k
  Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (285)
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  (607): View more from New York

  His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.

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  (607): His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death. http://tfl.nu/nfgi
  Replies (4) Good night (494) Bad night (404)

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