I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.