Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.

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  (805): Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die. http://tfl.nu/cdvk
  Replies (13) Good night (702) Bad night (2651)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk

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  (918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk http://tfl.nu/q4ib
  Replies (14) Good night (4750) Bad night (695)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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  (606): how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked. http://tfl.nu/j1kr
  Replies (20) Good night (1153) Bad night (4736)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....

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  (630): He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now... (708): I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come.... http://tfl.nu/k2gw
  Replies (20) Good night (4962) Bad night (1150)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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  (254): it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless. http://tfl.nu/hrpm
  Replies (15) Good night (2913) Bad night (1506)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple

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  (830): What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple http://tfl.nu/5qs4
  Replies (9) Good night (3971) Bad night (893)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is

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  (401): If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is http://tfl.nu/twoy
  Replies (19) Good night (4491) Bad night (857)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning

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  (252): Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning http://tfl.nu/yyg5
  Replies (6) Good night (2056) Bad night (1154)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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  (443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i
  Replies (9) Good night (2448) Bad night (766)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby

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  (812): I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby http://tfl.nu/u8rx
  Replies (10) Good night (1005) Bad night (1767)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip

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  (410): You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip http://tfl.nu/bjin
  Replies (4) Good night (1787) Bad night (498)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.

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  (248): Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke. http://tfl.nu/wb76
  Replies (6) Good night (440) Bad night (1239)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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  (719): Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could. http://tfl.nu/sgv5
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (595)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA

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  (302): THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA http://tfl.nu/kl6y
  Replies (6) Good night (1292) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw

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  (847): Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw http://tfl.nu/0d0p
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (334)

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