Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?

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(609): so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/3dvn

Replies (18) Good night (3039) Bad night (602)
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(314): View more from Missouri

sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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(314): sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke. http://tfl.nu/stms

Replies (15) Good night (4248) Bad night (432)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?

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(605): was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her? http://tfl.nu/02kh

Replies (9) Good night (2679) Bad night (654)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.

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(609): You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener. (1-609): Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts. http://tfl.nu/3zgr

Replies (50) Good night (5690) Bad night (893)
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(845): View more from New York

would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?

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(845): would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high? http://tfl.nu/v2jv

Replies (29) Good night (4094) Bad night (735)
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(512): View more from Texas

its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

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(512): its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after http://tfl.nu/7p4f

Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (5594)
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(914): View more from New York

we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.

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(914): we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was. http://tfl.nu/57fr

Replies (27) Good night (6067) Bad night (1644)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.

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(606): Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes. http://tfl.nu/z8mg

Replies (23) Good night (3609) Bad night (2071)
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(240): View more from Maryland

He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

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(240): He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice http://tfl.nu/qhk7

Replies (3) Good night (2557) Bad night (875)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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(541): Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding http://tfl.nu/9api

Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (1408)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.

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(541): I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out. http://tfl.nu/wy42

Replies (11) Good night (714) Bad night (1106)
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(+49): View more from Germany

we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!

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(+49): we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?! http://tfl.nu/7d9u

Replies (8) Good night (2360) Bad night (528)
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(561): View more from Florida

6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time

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(561): 6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time http://tfl.nu/83id

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.

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(814): So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird. http://tfl.nu/r3xq

Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (516)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?

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(412): Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am? http://tfl.nu/j782

Replies (7) Good night (1693) Bad night (546)

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