I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I will be naked everywhere
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
