"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
