coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
