she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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