Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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