smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
