It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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