you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
and you fell through a lawn chair
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
