I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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