Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
