I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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