"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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