hotel room ftw
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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