there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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