what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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