she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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