Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
