all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
