i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
