physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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