I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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