I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
