im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
