How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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