Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
