no, he came in my armpit
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
