The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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