Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
