my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
