Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
