Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
