I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
