i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
