It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
