I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry about my life...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
