my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
