you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
