Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
