I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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