Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
