watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
